“Is it Groundhog Day?”

Gently blowing my hot Vittoria Coffee, I realise today is like no other. What am I going to make of today? What is going to happen; what can I do to make this day different than the others.  I realise that today, it is feeling a little like what they call ‘Groundhog day’.

Living in Australia, I was unfamiliar with the term except for watching an old classic movie called, ‘Groundhog Day’ with Bill Murray and Andi McDowell.

 
In reading what Groundhog Day means, it states, “on the 2nd of February, In Northern America, The Groundhog wakes from winter slumber and sticks hear head out of her den.  If it is sunny enough for the groundhog to cast a shadow, the sleepy gal will get startled and run back into her den to continue napping. This will cause the cold winter weather to continue for 6 more weeks. If it is cloudy, there will be no shadow to startle her and she’ll wake up nice and slowly. She will then stay awake, causing the winter weather to recede and the spring weather to come early”.

To me Groundhog day means doing the same thing over and over again, i.e., We get up, get showered, dressed, have breakfast, get the kids off for school, and/or make their beds, drive our car to work, work a whole day then come back and organise dinner, bed and the ritual starts again.  Sometimes it feels like a rollercoaster ride and you wonder to yourself when will this ride stop? When can we do something different?  Maybe deep down that means I am in need of a holiday, but for some of us that ride just never stops.  

 
I guess in Second life (SL), we can always escape the rollercoaster ride, the feeling of Groundhog Day. There are always so many exciting places to explore, people to meet, items to build, decorate and create.  There are loved ones to cherish, parties to attend, clubs to explore, and various other places that we can ‘do something different each day’. 

I guess if real life (RL) and SL seem to both become a ‘groundhog day’ then perhaps it is time for a change, and a new outlet of life to explore. 

 
Does anyone know of some good places to explore in SL?

“Already Gone”

I’m sitting here sipping my Vittoria Coffee, listening to the sounds of Kelly Clarkson spilling out the song – “Already gone”.  Such a passionate song, and listening to the words, I’m wondering how I can help a friend who seems to be in a dilemma nearly every day.  This person, wants to forgive and forget, to move on and escape the hurt that they have suffered and aspire towards a newer, richer and fuller life, perhaps even to love another?

Is it possible to forgive and forget? Can we ignore the time spent with someone and the hurt that was left behind, only to know that each time they make contact, the hurt resurfaces and so does the confusion.

Forgiveness is a subject that comes up quite a bit in SL. Offenses are common, and the offender usually wants to be forgiven. But the offended is usually reluctant to forgive, particularly if the offender hasn't learned anything from the ordeal.  But if forgiveness is difficult, forgetting can be downright impossible for many.  How can people be expected to forget some of the most painful experiences of their lives? And/or try again or just decide to move on.

People live and breathe, in second life (SL). We escape reality only to find what happens in real life (RL) can also happen in SL.  Perhaps we go on SL to seek what is missing in RL or perhaps it is a way of making new friends, and meeting a loved one. However what happens in RL also happens in SL, and that one thing in common is being hurt.
 
If you have ever being the offender and made a mistake, and/or you are the person that has been the subject of an offense, then let it go, don’t try and make amends, the bitterness and anger will remain. 

It happened for a reason, and it takes a long time for the hurt to go away.  If the other person has moved on, then let them be happy and try and make it better for yourself next time.   Sometimes hitting a reset button does not work, but getting a new start in life and making oneself happy is very important. 

Singing to the words of Kelly “I want you to know, You couldn’t have loved me better, but I want you to move on, so I’m already gone” …from MM.

“Going the Distance”

I’m sitting here sipping my afternoon Vittoria Coffee, thinking about something that someone said today.  Can SL relationships work across time zones? and can Second Life (SL) and Real life (RL) work together ? Am wondering if anyone else has experienced where people live in different parts of the country, or have ever tried to make SL and/or RL the same?

There are so many blogs on the subject; it always interests me what people think. 
 
In my experience, SL relationships work when both people are on the exact same page as to where they want the relationships to be both in terms of casual vs. more involved and in terms of staying in SL vs. not.   This includes the flexibility to manage the time differences, or whether to take SL further into RL, with the understanding of seeing that other person’s faults close up and not behind a screen.

So I guess my question is if two people feel the same about each other can moving from SL to RL work and can it go the distance?

Relationships I've noticed tend to go at a lightning pace in SL because there is little in the way of RL "friction" (like chores, jobs, bills, kids, other time commitments) to slow things down, and because in a text/voice/skype based relationship, people tend to disclose themselves more quickly because of the medium they are in.  SL can create the illusion of knowing someone quickly without seeing all their faults and this can lead to disappointment and pain at some stage if you don't manage it well.  The rush and thrill of the beginning of a new SL relationship is certainly appealing, but the crash can be hurtful and quick if you take things too quickly, or if you don’t try to get to know the person as a friend, and if your expectations of them were quite different. 

So in my opinion if you like someone and want to know more, treasure the friendship you create, as it is the person behind the ‘avi’ that counts and not the pixelated person on top. 

It's best to move slowly, be careful, and resist the speediness that SL encourages and try to get to know the person if you want to make the long distance relationship last. from MM.  

“Love is a Battlefield”

Sitting here sipping my Vittoria Coffee, hearing about the latest stock market crash on the news, I thought to myself no wonder people come onto SL (Second Life) to escape what is happening in real life (RL).   For example: there are so many ‘Disasters; heat waves; Tornadoes; Cyclones; floods; and starvation’.  I mean really! Isn’t there anything going right at the moment, is that why we need to seek inward within SL, to escape reality and create that moment of pleasure and happiness that we need in our lives?

A friend of mine in SL once told me when I started writing blogs that I should write about my failed relationships, well, whether they would be considered failed or not; In RL it isn’t perfect and whose is? Although it could be a lot worse!   I have a son who’s almost an adult, I have a wonderful husband that has his faults but honestly, apart from all that I still dream of something more in my life.  I can’t explain why, and I am sure you all have your reasons for wanting more, but I can empathize with those who have fallen in love in Sl. 

Curiosity led me to SL a long time ago and i was instantly hooked. I have met so many wonderful, caring and loving friends that I could never do without.  I also met many a male friend and in which one of them I was deeply attracted too.   We went through the whole dating scene, and we would talk for as long as I could be on SL given my time difference, in which sometimes I feel like I am on another planet.  He would email me every morning as i got to work, and or text and would be waiting for me online when i got home from work.  We had so much fun together in SL, dancing, hunting, loving, sharing interests, meeting new friends, raising horses, but above all I felt alive, like we were one.  I was totally hooked; he became my reason to start my day just so i could be with him for most of the night. This world that we created was so unique that I didn’t notice my RL begin to suffer.  It was then a decision had to be made.  Which way to go?

I actually noticed on Facebook that there is a discussion group created called SL/RL relationships.  One discussion states, “SL offers a wonderful landscape for exploration, but what many are unprepared for is the "self" exploration that often surfaces when one becomes immersed in this wonderfully perceptual place”. 

There are so many fantastic places to be alone with your loved one, and SL does offer that escape that we all miss in our lives.  Perhaps one day, we will understand what it is we are striving for, and or what we are seeking.

For those of you that may seem lost, indecisive, in love, wanting love, to feel protected, admired, to be cared for, some release, or a combination of the above; SL can offer you the magical ingredients of love, it’s all part of discovering who we are, what we value, and what we want out of life. 

What do you want out of life?

"Together as One"

Standing looking over the oval, with my favourite cup of Vittoria Coffee in one hand, and the other hand pumping in the air, whilst I am yelling, cursing and coaxing like all other team members, screaming with joy, watching our bloods tackling people half their size, knocking them over like ten pin bowls to score a try whilst gracefully sliding over the score line.

Nearly spilling the coffee joining in a crescendo of sound, cheering with the rest of the crowd, it made me realise the exhilaration you feel from watching your brood win, and the energy that transpires from being a part of the crowd with a common purpose is also experienced in Second Life (SL) when you join a group or team.

Have you ever noticed in SL, people join groups for various reasons; it could be, to share interests, common goals, aspirations, to feel support for a cause, creative interests, professional communities, recognition, leadership, or even perhaps a connection to something larger. 

Belonging in a group in SL, gives people many types of statuses and responsibilities, which could be a way of exploring what they can’t have in RL, or something they would like to try out in the safety of their own home.  

This could be as a Leader, Master, Dom, Submissive, King, Queen, Lord, Duchess, and of course as a follower, to explore and identify with for a variety of interests.  Groups within SL come in many shapes and sizes, and people join one of these groups, or many, to become a friend to someone who’s in that group, or to feel like you are one of them, together, linked for a similar purpose, to be a part of that team.   

 
Groups in RL are no different from SL; we join them to have inclusion, to establish an identity with others. Control is the need to exercise leadership, and prove one's abilities, and affection is the need to develop relationships with people to feel loved or belonging.
 

A quote I read from "Pearce Bailey" - “You cannot belong to anyone else, until you belong to yourself.” 

Do you belong to a group? J

“Life is like a box of chocolates”

 

Sitting here with my afternoon cup of Coffee, I had just heard the expression, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”, from the movie, Forrest Gump. 

This classic phrase from the movie, I honestly did not know how to interpret, or what it meant. Did it mean, we are pulled from all directions, never knowing what is going to happen in our lives, or perhaps it meant you never know what to expect next in your life.

SL (Second life) is a bit like that sometimes. We create works of art, we give meaning to new life, we love the ones beside us, we protect those we care about, but most of all we give a little of ourselves to everyone around us, whether we know it or not.  Each conversation we have with someone in SL, we are giving a little of ourselves away. We create an avatar of an ideal of what we would like to be, or the parts of us we would like to change. Myself, I don’t look exactly like “Mischa’, but the similarities are close hiding all the parts I don’t like to acknowledge myself. Others may think differently, but the faults I have in my life, I use that to hide from in SL.

It made me realise, what if I was to tell you that you have much more control of your life than you think you do?  What occurs in your life is a projection of your own thoughts?  We should never blame ourselves for everything that occurs in our life, we should take responsibility for what happens, and learn from our experiences.  That feeling you get from taking more responsibility puts you in more control and the realisation of what you can achieve.

I have noticed some relationships are like that in SL. We have the women and men that do the whole dating scene and scout around for that one beauty, or funny, or popular, or a leader, or has that talent, or even money.  We look for that soul mate, the person that can make us feel loved and warm, and the person/s that can be by our side living out the fantasy that we dare not create in RL, or are too scared to admit to change within ourselves.

I guess life is like a box of chocolates: We are given, or buy ourselves something that for some seems to be perfect, but when you get to the bottom of the box, those moments can be sweet, or sour.  If you honestly don’t like that sweet chocolate today, and want a change, then there is nothing stopping you from seeking out that perfect chocolate, or that moment in which can make you happy.

Explore what makes life interesting

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you were are at a crossroads and didn’t know what to do.   I found myself in that situation today whilst driving in my car sipping on my favourite Vittoria Coffee from Espresso Cafe. 

 The sun was warming, the rays were dazzling, and whilst listening to my ipod in the car, I sat at the traffic lights thinking, what do I do?

 Caught in the midst of indecision, Devil on one shoulder, Angel on the other, I wondered, Do I have to work today?  Does my son have to go to school?  Do I go out and exercise?  Do I stay indoors and hang with my SL friends, lights blinking ready to change, idling in the car, I was thinking what if?

 Will one day really matter? Can I say enough, and change the direction I was going to take?  Will going to that interview today be the right job for me?  Should I be feeling guilty that I want, on this day, for time to just stop and say “enough”?  I ask you all, Why do we work? Why do we go to school? Why do we stay indoors, Why do we love hanging with our friends on SL.

 I look to my Second Life friends and think you could be at that fork in the road, but your thought today was, I’m going to design, get myself a job, download some music for my next session, look after my horses, find some unique clothes for that next modelling session, or wrap yourself up with that one true love and enjoy what SL has to offer. 

Feeling pulled from all directions, knowing the right thing to do, I thought what the heck, I'm going to go left instead of right, I'm going to say No to work today, and yes I want to do something for me.

Did someone say SL Coffee time?

Leaning against the wall at my favourite coffee shop ‘Central Espresso”, watching the two baristas running around frantically serving the latest fix of Vittoria coffee, I scroll through my iPhone absorbed by the latest SL updates, marvelling how talented all my friends are in Secondlife (SL) wondering what will inspire them today.

Looking at the rows of coffee in front of me I know morning coffee is worth waiting for, I think about how some people in SL underestimate their abilities not realising the true potential they hold, their ingenious ideas, the capacity to bring these ideas to fruition in a world outside of SL.

I hear all the time, there is no work available, and understand the unemployment dilemmas faced all over the world, and like myself, will be out of work shortly.  To my amazement there is some unique and inspiring talent within SL, and there are some  people that do not realise the potential they hold in their hands.  I see resemblances every day from RL to SL, who filter in the door waiting for their morning coffee.  People who are talented like yourself: Fashion Designers, Photographers, DJ’s, Writers, Architects, Comedians, Artists, Store owners, IT counterparts, and mothers and many others who have with just one thought, the ability to bring a vision to life into a world full of such probable ideas.

 If only people could recognise that creativity can reach beyond SL, the true talent they hold in their hands and the ability they design with the mouse all inspired by that one thought - a dream, a vision.

Whilst I haven’t quite found my own artistic talents as yet, I relish the thought that I can learn from you all, and be inspired by what unfolds in front of me.  I look forward to seeing my friends in SL and think to myself whilst walking out the door sipping my coffee, the following quote:

 Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present”. ~ Babatunde Olatunji.

Inspired by you all, I eagerly want to hear about your new creations, read your blog updates and look forward to my next morning coffee. J from MM.